I haven’t really written in here very much over the last year. I keep vowing to write more, but time has been so elusive since I’ve gone back to school and continued to get my art “out there”. I’ve got a little less than 2 weeks before I hit the books again and I can’t imagine cramming everything that needs to be done into such a small amount of time. But I’ve been thinking about something that I felt a need to put my pen to. And it so happens – a Facebook friend mentioned the same issue on her page this morning.
Christmas morning, Steve and I drove to Albany to celebrate Christmas with my daughter, her husband and our grandkids. It was a delightful time. The kids were thrilled with their bounty. After a decadent breakfast treat of gingerbread Yule log, we hit the road again to visit Steve’s kids in Portland. His daughter and her husband had just bought a sweet house and celebrating Christmas in it was definitely in order. We met 2 of his other daughters and one’s boyfriend there. We shared an incredible brunch – quiche (baked to perfection), ham, Caesar salad, yummy potatoes, and then later – gingerbread Yule log. It was a delightful Christmas – a very sweet and mellow, warm and relaxing Christmas Day with family.
Ephemeral Ballet
My issue? Well… I’m not one who likes to travel on holidays, but it was necessary in order to share this wonderful day. We packed up early with our usual driving shift… I drive there-Steve drives back. We were somewhere between Salem and Portland where I-5 expands to 3 lanes and I was in the far right lane because I prefer to drive closer to 60 rather than run down the road at 70 plus – especially when it’s raining (which it was). I thank my dear, late friend Liza for the encouragement to take it slow. I generally arrive at my destination a few minutes later, but I’m much more relaxed and I’ve probably saved a bit on gas (and I’m alive). I’m not the only one who drives in this manner. There are always cars in front of and behind me and we call keep pace with one another. So…I was a bit perplexed when out of the blue a van slips between me and the car behind me and proceeds to “ride my ass” as “they” (and I) say. They got so close I could clearly see their faces. This woman was so stressed, she was gripping the wheel and I could have sworn that she was pressing her face against the windshield. When someone tails me (and it happens all of the time – even when I’m driving OVER the speed limit) I don’t hit my breaks, but I do take my foot off of the gas and slow down. (Two people suggested I put on my flashers – I will next time). They slowed just enough to keep what seemed like a 1-foot distance between us. I couldn’t figure out why they wouldn’t go around me. Then after a couple of miles, they sped down an off-ramp. I was left feeling stunned.
Perhaps it hit me harder because it was Christmas, but I was really upset for quite awhile. I just can’t wrap my brain around self-centered people who would put so many people in danger, just so they can arrive somewhere a few seconds earlier. I came up with excuses – they’re young, they’re Type A, they didn’t realize what they were doing – but none of them cut it for me. When my Facebook friend posted about 2 instances of being tailgated in one trip, someone commented that it’s the same kids who used cut in line in school – the Me First kids. Whether it’s their behavior or my intolerance for it – I feel like it’s becoming more and more commonplace to see people’s utter disregard for their fellow human beings. Be it shopping for the new Air-Jordans or hitting the stores on Black Friday with pepper spray – I don’t understand how our priorities have become so skewed. We can blame TV or technology, but I think it’s something deeper. Even the simplest courtesies seem to be disappearing. I worked at a local college for 12 years and over that time I watched the politeness of youth (sorry – but it was the younger crowd here – not the older – and they were generally male) become almost non-existent. I lost count of how many times I would be walking behind someone through a door and they would just let the door go – even if they saw me. Other times I would be going through a door and someone would push past me, knocking me aside. This happened continually. Are the basic rules of etiquette not being taught anymore or are people just so distracted that they fail to notice that they’re not the only person on the planet?
A bunch of little things – possibly pet peeves – but they all add up for me. Community is extremely important to me. Actually it’s important to everyone, but I don’t think everyone knows that. I’ve build my “family” from my community over the last 40-plus years since I moved away from my home of origin. The people in my community are vital to my life and happiness. We all give of ourselves to each other and reach out to others outside of our community. When I see people distancing themselves from their fellow humans it hits me really hard. I can’t bear to read the paper anymore. Who knows… maybe I’m just becoming more intolerant in my old age, but I have “had it up to here” (as my Mom used to say) with the me-centered culture that I see around me.
Maybe my expectations are too high of others, when it comes to treating people with compassion and kindness. I know I don’t always do this, but I do try to be considerate of others and am aware of how I speak to people – most of the time. In the coming year – I will be more conscious of how I treat my fellow humans and reach out to them more. I will try and offer grace to those that don’t live up to my expectations of what being human is. I guess that, in itself, is being human.
Happy New Year!
Mother Earth
